Ed Wood

 

Ed Wood come back from the dead,
Ed Wood, Ed Wood.

 Ed Wood come back from the dead.
Bela Lugosi’s sick in the head.
Hooked on dope, Dracula’s gone,
But Dr. Acula lives on.
Ed Wood come back to us.
Vampira rides the bus.
The giant rubber squid you stole
Will not move. Ed Wood, you go.

You wrote, directed, starred
In films so bad they’re avant garde

With zero budget and an awesome title.
Orson Wells, your one true idol,
Had a little skill I guess,
But you worked quicker and you did it in a dress.
Open the envelope, you win an Oscar
for Bride of the Monster.

There’s no hope for the human race
In Plan Nine from Outer Space.
Lugosi’s double had to hide his face.
UFOs made of paper plates,
Cardboard tombstones falling down,
Is it a zombie or is it a clown?
Ed Wood, what's the verdict?
Take one, that was perfect.

 The awful truth, you're perfectly clueless
The awful, awful truth, everyone’s
Perfectly clueless too,
Ed Wood. 

Glen or Glenda was ahead of its time,
A sordid look at the twisted mind
Of a man who dresses in women's clothes.
In the 50’s, that’s a big no-no.
You tried to make a statement,
Tried, and tried, but could never quite make it,
Except no one looked better
Than you in a pink angora sweater.

The awful truth, you're perfectly clueless
The awful, awful truth, everyone’s
Perfectly clueless too,
Ed Wood.

 Ed Wood come back from the dead,
Ed Wood, Ed Wood.

And last but not least,
There’s Jailbait, a masterpiece.
Who knows? You could have gone far
With studio money and a bigger star.
Ed Wood, your only crime

Was to be the worst of all time,
But the very worst in Hollywood
Ain’t saying much, you could have been good.

 To touch the world, to tell a story,
You had dreams like anybody.
Ed Wood, no one cried
In Hollywood the night you died
Drunk and broke. And what the hell
You even got fat like Orson Welles.
I wish you could have seen the day
You became a legend in your own sad way.